Over the past few months I have been processing my life and where God has brought me. Sitting down over coffee, my journal and bible in the moorings has at points been tough. God has made a stand. He has covered me with love. He is fully in control. But through it all I’ve had rough patches. I’ve wondered about what I am to do. I’ve wondered where I am to go. But God has over and over said just a couple of things. Trust me and rest in me. Now these are very simple yet profound words for me and the season I’ve been in, but they are very necessary words. I moved 600+ miles for a woman I loved. I was engaged and then she broke up with me. I questioned about ever doing ministry again. I wondered about my direction in life. I had many questions that I was not able to answer and neither was anyone else. I was at a standstill in my faith in ways and it sucked.
I’m the type of guy that always likes to be on the move, so for me this situation was not easy and in some ways, it still is not. I’ve had many words spoken over me where the Father is saying ‘rest’. This has happened many times from people that know me to people that don’t know me, so I am convinced that God wants me to rest. Resting does not mean a complete stopping of life. I’ve come to see that my life is more then doing, but it is necessary to be resting even in my doing. Trusting that the good, the bad and the ugly parts of life; God is there.
Trusting has had come from a woman breaking my heart. Having to up and move a second time 600+ miles again. Saying she loved me and wanted me to lead her, love her and care for her. Only to turn around and change her mind. That hurts my friends. In this hurt and what I thought was abandonment, I’ve learned a greater trust in my Father. His love has abounded in new ways that I now see in light of true reality. I was angry with him in this at first but found him faithfully calling me back to himself as he does with us all, even when trusting him is hard. Psalm 13 says,
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken, But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation, I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
This is what I’ve learned. True trust out of hurt and lack of seeing God in the midst of pain. I’ve come to cry out….I trust you Lord. No mater what the situation. No matter what my lot in life. I can now more then ever cry out to my Father in the midst of my pain rather then in the midst of anger from my pain.
I’ve also learned about resting as I do. We have a daily sabbath rest in Yeshua from our Father. A claim that not only means a daily reprieve in the midst of life but also a time to pull back and check yourself. I’ve always done. I’ve always been doing ministry. Now I’m learning that doing is possible only cause of my resting. Resting in the love of my Father. Now I know my identity and have known who I belong to but I’ve always been challenged to work form resting. I’m not good at resting so its been challenging for me to rest minute by minute, day by day, week by week. Hebrews 4:6-11 says,
Since therefore it remains for some to enter it, and those who formerly received the good news failed to enter because of disobedience, again he appoints a certain day, “Today,” saying through David so long afterward, in the words already quoted, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken of another day later on. So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.
Now the point is just learning to rest. Not that I’ve been sinning as the text implies. I’m just learning to rest in the Father in new ways and it has been amazing. Ways that I can in my doing, rest in my being his beloved son. I’ve always separated the two for some reason. In needing to pull away from doing in order to truly be his son or so I thought. This is and was wrong. I serve God out of my being as his son, for in that I do the work of his Son. I think about the old hymn Trust and Obey by John Sammis,
“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way. To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, But His smile quickly drives it away; Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear, Can abide while we trust and obey. Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share, But our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross, But is blessed if we trust and obey. But we never can prove the delights of His love. Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey. Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet. Or we’ll walk by His side in the way. What He says we will do, where He sends we will go; Never fear, only trust and obey.”
Blessings to you my friends……
